ANGER

You know what surprises me? When you are merging into a traffic lane and the car behind you actually let’s you in. When someone walking down the street actually looks into your eyes and smiles. When someone holds the door open for me. What doesn’t surprise me is that there is another mass murder attempt on a college university, on MY COLLEGE UNIVERSITY! Where I thought for the most part we were all nature loving, pot smoking, hippy people, surely this would never happen on our OUR campus!? Just like everyone had said in places that this had happened before. How despicable is it that I am more surprised by a strangers smile than another mass murder attempt.

I am so angry that this has become so commonplace. And what angers me more is that it is made into some bullshit political agenda. THESE ARE PEOPLE not politics!!!! It is time we STOP casting the blame on political issues: gun control, mental health, and religion vs. politics. What part do YOU play in it?

Yeah, sure, you didn’t buy the gun, or load the bullets, but when was the last time you looked at stranger, or heaven forbid said hi to them? Did you help someone when they were suffering? Did you help the man in front of you at the grocery struggling to count his change? Don’t just buy a latte for the person in the car behind you, let’s be honest here- if someone is in line for a latte they probably aren’t suffering too much, think bigger! When was the last time you helped a single mom who was fighting to raise her kids without a father figure? When was the last time you looked judgingly at a mom in a grocery store aisle whose child was unruly?

That person you could say hi to might be struggling feeling like they are invisible. The man in the grocery store could have just lost his job and used his last paycheck to keep a roof over his head. That single mom could be dealing with her son’s drug addiction and dad has left or passed away. That mom could be a nurse who just got off a 12 hour shift and the only time she can get to the grocery store is during nap time! Every ONE has a story, and SHAME ON YOU if you judge them without the opportunity to hear theirs.

When was the last time you yelled impatiently at your kids in the grocery store? When was the last time you flipped someone off in your car with your kid in the backseat? Have YOU ever treated anyone disrespectfully?

I would hope you want your child to grow up to practice patience, kindness, self control and yet these are the very things we lack within ourselves. Who knows what could have made the difference in these school shootings, but I guarantee we are not going to find the answer in politics. We will find it when we start taking accountability for our own actions in how we treat the people around us. Society is made up of individuals, and if we are unhappy with society we should be just as equally unhappy when we look at ourselves.

It take a village to raise a child. And that is true more now today than possibly it has ever been. We desperately NEED good role models for our children. They cannot find them within the violent video games and they definitely cannot find them within our primetime television shows that used to contain messages of values and morality. Now it’s all about dealing with a dysfunctional family, affairs, how to get away with murder, and revenge. These shows place no value in human life, except for that of my own of course. Even the crime television show so much detail it desensitizes us to criminal acts. There is no sense of togetherness. So when someone takes a human life, well, it is just NO.Big. Deal. Well doesn’t that just make your stomach turn? That is what we teach our children. Our societal shift towards solidarity in human interaction is going to be what destroys us.

Turn off the television, unplug your devices (after you read this) and go teach your kids some values! Go serve at a homeless shelter together or buy food for people living on the streets. And don’t assume you know how someone ended up there, that they are somehow less than human because life has thrown them a few too many curve balls! Go think about someone other than yourself for an afternoon and see how it changes you.

Show respect. When did it become okay to deny people respect...? I hate hearing people say they have to EARN it! ********!! A person is worthy of respect simply because they are a PERSON. 

Go have a conversation with someone. Go make someone’s day just by taking an interest. It doesn’t take a lot, because like I said before, it is the anomaly. You would be surprised how your little actions can make a big difference. Show someone you care. What if someone had taken an interest in helping the mother of the boy who committed the Oregon shooting? What if a teacher or friend or neighbor cared to ask his how he was. WHAT IF?

It is too early to know much about the NAU shooter, but he has a story too. A story that told him that whatever these other boys did to him, that he was just in taking their life for whatever reason. What I hope is that we can start being people again. We can start caring about the people around us. That we will teach our kids to recognize when someone is being bullied and that we will equip them with the desire and actions to end that injustice. How would that have made a difference in Columbine?

My heart breaks for Flagstaff and the families involved. My heart is breaking for my friends I went to school with. I am sad we are now apart of that statistic that there were killings on our campus. And unfortunately our prayers are not enough. We need to take action alongside those prayers. We need to practice what we preach and we need to show that LIFE MATTERS. We need to be kind, polite, respectful and practice self-control. It doesn’t begin with the politicians sitting on their ass coming up with new ways to “solve” a problem only to create a new one. IT BEGINS WITH YOU. IT BEGINS WITH ME.

Now, go show someone some kindness, selflessly. Honestly, the best thing that could happen is if you put me out of a job.  

One Year Forward, Five Years Back

Fall has begun. The cooler weather has brought the changing of the leaves. Fall vegetables are everywhere, even in lattes. I can drive with the windows down and music loud. It is without a doubt the most wonderful time of the year. And as another October 5th passes, I turn one more year older.

There is something different about this year. I have not quite been able to put my finger on it, but today it hit me! I am getting old, I have begun my late twenties. And not old as in my body is giving out or all my hair is going to fall out (but I swear it is coming out in chunks :/ ) but i just no longer feel like I have the vibrancy and excitement I did earlier in my twenties. That loss makes me sad. I remember having the conversations with my best friend and asking her when will we feel like we are no longer children? I always assumed it would be when I got married or had kids, nope! 27 is my answer.

I spent the earlier part of my twenties at work at the sacrifice of my social life. I worked 50+ hours on a weekly basis and left little time to enjoy the world at my feet. People say your twenties is the time to figure out yourself. I feel like I really did, just not in the way I had expected. I decided work was not going to be my life. I decided I wanted to do something where I could make the world a bit brighter. I figured it out.

So as I begin the 27th year of life, I plan to use all the knowledge I have gained and go back to the mindset of my young twenties and really fall in love with this life. I will treat the world as my oyster and enjoy the greatest part of it, the people. I will find beautiful things to rejoice in and I will handle the tough stuff with dignity and grace.

Needless to say, I think the best is yet to come. Thank you for taking this ride with me.

Remebering How I was Changed

It is not about remembering where we were, it is about remembering how we changed. It has been fourteen years since this nation learned how vulnerable we are, and how much people with a sincere hate for our freedom, for our country, and for our God could do something so catastrophic. It shook us to our core, individually and collectively.

The amazing thing is, it did not stop us. We may have learned how vulnerable we are that one day, but in the days, weeks, and months that followed we became very aware of how strong we are. It created a ripple effect, it wrenched at people’s humanity.

I read a quote in a book over the summer that resonated, “Those who are not willing to bleed and die for what they hold most dear will always be held hostage by those who are.” In the hours that followed the attack I watched in shock as firefighters, policemen, EMT’s and everyone else pulled people from the rubble of the fallen towers. I was inspired by the people on Flight 93, who would not go down without a fight, saving God knows how many lives in the process. I was floored with the people that would enlist, knowing full well we were headed for war.

I was 12 years old on September 11, 2001 and it was then I learned what made America so great.

It wasn’t our economic standing in the world. It wasn’t our ammunition, artillery, or firepower. It wasn’t even our politics or our government. What makes America great is We the People. And I choose to believe that when our backs are put up against the wall we will fight for our neighbors, our country, and our freedom. I am blessed to live in a place where I do not have to fear terrorism daily, because of the men and women who by will and determination fight to keep us secure. I am so incredibly proud of the heroes I have had the pleasure of knowing, the ones that gave the ultimate sacrifice. And because of the events that transpired after 9/11, without a doubt, I am proud to be an American.

In honor of Christian Pike and Chris Lapka

and my brother, John Wittman, who by God’s grace was able to return home to us.

Thank you to all my military friends, know that your sacrifice does not go unappreciated.

With Love,

Kallie

Hello World!

Warning: long post coming

Wow! Let me just start by saying I am so thankful and overwhelmed with all the support I’ve been given. Y’all rock!

To my amazing small groups, thank you so much for your encouragement, I am sure you affected me in ways I don’t even know yet! Your unwavering faith in my character has been such a stronghold. You love me so well, and I am so blessed that God brought you into my life. I also have to thank my Kenya team, we learned so much in such a short amount of time but y’all taught me how quickly relationships can take hold and how much they matter.

So I started this blog when I travelled to Spain for a semester in college my first time around. It has been pretty dormant since. I thought I may revive it. The name still applies, except this time I am not crossing continents or oceans, I am crossing streets, visiting neighbors and meeting the ones who need community the most. Hello world, you are much bigger than ME, I look forward to getting acquainted.

Now let’s backtrack a bit, upon graduation in 2011, I was offered a pretty sweet gig (pun intended) as a restaurant manager near my hometown. When my classmates were worried about finding a job, I already had one! I was stoked to say the least. A year and a half later I made what people tell me is a brave move 1,859 miles from home to a charming little state called Georgia, where the people are sweet, but the tea is sweeter. I stayed in the corporate world, but I got restless.

Day to day I was stressed and drained and pushed to my emotional limits. No matter how much time there was in a day I could not seem to manage to get everything done or to make everyone happy. I was a giant stress ball, as I used to call it, and the people around me knew it. I felt like that if I was to be successful in my job I had to leave my heart out of it, which is hard for any female to do, let alone me! People would tell me I’m too lenient, I gave people too many chances. Which in reality, I probably did according to corporate America. But at the same time I was working, I was growing so strongly in my relationship with Jesus (shoutout to Watermarke!).

I could never find the balance of being a Jesus follower and being a good manager. I had employees that rode the bus, that were getting payed very little and they could barely make ends meet. There were housing crises, arrests and plenty of other things behind the scenes that went on that effect a daily operation… but you still had to save face and no matter how hard or stressful it got, push through, because let’s face it, all the boss really wants is results. Stuck in the middle of trying to take care of people’s hearts and dignity while still trying to get the financial results pushed me to my breaking point, and I knew I was not the right fit for this job… time to get off the bus!

However, now I had to figure out something else to do! Panic. I looked at some of my friends who actually enjoyed their jobs. Does that even happen anymore? It must! So at the beginning of the year, I resolved to find my purpose. Our lead pastor, Andy Stanley, did a series that created a stirring in my heart that I knew it was God telling me it was okay to move on.

“What breaks your heart?” was the question we were asked to think about through the series. “If you really want to become a better person, do something to make the world a better place.”

Through this journey of self-discovery- wait that term doesn’t quite fit. I was not necessarily looking for what made ME happy, because I had learned that when I am so focused on ME, I suffer. I noticed I found my happiness when I was pleasing God.

When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, his reply was to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself. Luke 10:27 --- Relationships!

Over the three years, I began spending time volunteering on Sunday mornings, I joined a small group, I led two small groups! I even went on a mission trip to Kenya! It was in these times of intentional relationships that I found my source of happiness, Jesus. Through the week I could not wait for Sunday or the nights I had small group!

By investing time into other people, God was preparing my heart to focus on something greater than myself. Andy sank it in deeper when he said during his RE:Solution series “to deny yourself is to say no to you so you can say yes to something bigger than you”. And I was ready for a really big yes!

Mid February, after much motivation from my small groups and small group director, I decided to apply for grad school. Keep in mind I NEVER wanted to go back to school, but the calling was placed on my heart and I could not ignore it. March 1st, that is when the applications were due. I had to take the GRE, finish my applications and get references (thank you Jessica, Dr. Hill and Lisa) all within a two week timeframe, and by the grace of God somehow I managed to get accepted into graduate school. Here i am, 2 days into my Masters in Social Work, and I have never before felt so fulfilled.

My first two days started in my internship, working with the school system. Today, my second day, we dealt with probably the hardest scenario you will encounter as a social worker, times 2. Yup, we had two cases. But at the end of the day, with all the turmoil that came from these situations, I was able to walk out of that school proud of what had been accomplished. I no longer felt like an obstacle or a stressor when life gets difficult, which is how I had felt in my old job. I felt like I was being used to help people and to love people regardless of what they could do for me. And where I couldn’t help, I prayed for God to take over- he can do a better job than I can anyway.